My little one spoke very confidently about being a girl. He didn’t doubt his feelings or question his decision at the tender age of two. While we were experiencing this transition, my two year old became the epitome of femininity. He chose anything and everything that represented girl. Everything chosen, from silverware to accessories were the most feminine you could get, the pinkest of the pink, the girlest of the girls, the epitome of femininity. I believe this was done so that there was no confusion whatsoever as to what gender he was identifying with now. And to this day, my little one is the most feminine of all my girls. With six kids total, my girly girl is the girlest of the group, beginning even at the tender age of two….with a crew cut.
I was once told that you weren’t a family until you were outnumbered. This felt true with the third child. When the kids when the kids were so young, we would get somewhere and I would get a baby out of the car, my husband would get a kid out of the car and there would still be a youngin’ in the car needing someone to get them out too. Juggling one baby to two was challenging considering I was home alone alot then jumping from two to three was a balance considering there were three kids and only two parents. So honestly jumping from three to four really didn’t change our family dynamics much…we were already out numbered. Many people looked at us like we were crazy with four little ones but in reality once you’ve crossed that threshold of being outnumbered the numbers no longer matter. Three kids, four kids, five kids….it’s all the same.
So after some self healing and emotional repair…our marriage was, for the most part, back on track. The children were growing, I reopened my own business in our new city, as did my husband, and we bought a house. After living in a trailer for 10 years, a brand new spanking house was amazing. We drove straight from the hospital after having our third child (our first boy) to our new house. Things were good. Not 100% secure but definitely back on track. So a year or so later, when my oldest said that since her and her sister always fight over who gets to dance with their brother that they clearly need another sibling. So of course what we did as any other crazy parents would do was had another. Baby number four!
My oldest was so dynamic…so animated…so opinionated…would my second little girl get lost in her shadows? My oldest was a force to be reckon with…a child who demanded attention at every turn. But my second child was laid back…easy going…quiet…and entertained herself…would she get lost in the shuffle? I use to worry when my first born would run the show and set the mood for the entire family for each day. If she was happy, the family was happy, if she was having an off day…so did we. Was this fair to my second born? Would this be the family dynamics forever? How could I make sure that my second child would get a chance to shine too?
After having my two wonderful…handful but wonderful girls…I was pregnant with a boy! It’s a different feeling. Every child was so incredibly different, different personalities, different emotions, different characteristics. Now a boy! I couldn’t wait to see how it was being the mom of a boy! I still remember buying my first “boy toy”… It was a superman rattle. I have it still to this day. I couldn’t part with my first boy toy bought.
I was blessed with two girls, two years apart…planning another, we wanted a boy. I knew I wanted at least one of each gender. So we tried for a boy…and voila, we got a boy. We always wanted at least three kids so the first two genders really didn’t matter. But now after two girls we wanted to try for a boy. I studied my fertility cycle and planned accordingly…we aimed and we received.
Someone once told me that you aren’t a family until you are out numbered. Balancing one child after no child is the most extreme transition any of us moms probably experience. Having two babies versus one when you are a mom is a juggling act that many of us need to learn to balance. But when the third one comes along and you get out of the car and grab a baby and your husband gets out of the car and grabs a baby and you look in the car and there is yet another baby…you have hit full family mode. This was us, six years into our marriage now with a newborn, one year old and a three year old. Growing family!
First thing I thought after my second was born, was how very different she looked, seemed, and acted from my first. Even the pregnancy of the second, and the birth was all completely different. Being the mom of a second born gives you a calm and confidence feeling. Being a first time mom is scary, new, and exciting but being the mom of a second born, is even better! You lack the scariness and replace that with a comfortable sort of confidence! It’s nice! My second was my first child born into motherhood….meaning my first child born into a life where I already was a mom and somewhat experienced. Totally new experience!