So now, my transgender child has been living like a girl in every capacity for five years. Long hair, pierced ears, all girl clothes…day and night, purse and accessories to a tee. After relocating from my divorce, and remarrying, we were living in a different part of town. No one knew that I originally had two girls, two boys…they only know about my three girls, and now two sons plus my stepson. Once I had the experience to share our journey in a book called, “Girl Nutz”, I had some wonderful opportunities to discuss having a transgender child. But sitting my daughter down to discuss these opportunities and how she felt about them, she simply said, “I just want to live like a girl”. Not a transgender girl, just a girl. It was all she needed to say. It was a done deal, we lived like a girl. My book could be put on hold and promoted under a less identifiable promotion process. Needless to say, it was what my daughter wanted, just to be a “normal” girl. This is not something I took lightly. My daughter has always been proud of who she is, transgender or not, she is confident and secure and so healthy but she wanted to be recognized for being a girl, 100% only girl. So we did.
When it was time to now focus on getting my transgender daughter hormone blockers, there were hoops to be jumping through. And as her mom, I would jump through an infinity amount of them. I did my research, I joined discussion groups, I asked around on everything I needed to know about the hormone blockers for transgender youths. The first requirement was to see a therapist. I, as an adult, understand the reason behind the therapist approval is to check in with the youth and confirm that they are not “confused” or misunderstood. I, as a parent, hated that my child now has to be labeled with gender identity disorder. Disorder? Is it? Hardly…but as a parent, if I had to jump through the therapist hoop, I would. Luckily for me, I found the one therapist who specialized in transgender youths and she was fantastic. So I explained to my daughter that this was a formality, a means to an end, not something that was to define her, not a disorder to label, but just another hoop to jump through, a very necessary hoop in the transgender world. So we made an appointment to see the therapist.
After years of my youngest living as a girl, while being born a boy, the term transgender began to surface. I never questioned what was happening, I simply supported it. She was a full fledged girl in every way…even girlier than my biologically born girls. Transgender was surfacing, people were talking, researchers were studying. This was my child, to a tee. Now we had a name, she was transgender. Once I divorced and moved with my new husband across town, no one even knew that my daughter was originally my son. We weren’t hiding anything, she simply was a girl. She did dance class, gymnastics, theater, etc. She didn’t live as a transgender child, she lived as a girl.