My husband and I were planners. We tried for babies only when we wanted them. We chose our baby names years prior to having the babies. So each child was named the names we had chosen years earlier, such as when I was in high school. Being able to give my babies their baby pillows with their names on them dated almost ten years prior to their actual birth was a pretty cool thing. They still have them to this day.
I was blessed with two girls, two years apart…planning another, we wanted a boy. I knew I wanted at least one of each gender. So we tried for a boy…and voila, we got a boy. We always wanted at least three kids so the first two genders really didn’t matter. But now after two girls we wanted to try for a boy. I studied my fertility cycle and planned accordingly…we aimed and we received.
Someone once told me that you aren’t a family until you are out numbered. Balancing one child after no child is the most extreme transition any of us moms probably experience. Having two babies versus one when you are a mom is a juggling act that many of us need to learn to balance. But when the third one comes along and you get out of the car and grab a baby and your husband gets out of the car and grabs a baby and you look in the car and there is yet another baby…you have hit full family mode. This was us, six years into our marriage now with a newborn, one year old and a three year old. Growing family!
First thing I thought after my second was born, was how very different she looked, seemed, and acted from my first. Even the pregnancy of the second, and the birth was all completely different. Being the mom of a second born gives you a calm and confidence feeling. Being a first time mom is scary, new, and exciting but being the mom of a second born, is even better! You lack the scariness and replace that with a comfortable sort of confidence! It’s nice! My second was my first child born into motherhood….meaning my first child born into a life where I already was a mom and somewhat experienced. Totally new experience!
Since we had the first born gender be a surprise…betting pool and all…for the second we decided to find out the gender of baby number two. Another girl!!! I honestly did not care what gender our baby was…I knew we wanted more. I did want both genders eventually but for the second, it didn’t matter. At this point I understood more about the miracle of growing this baby inside me. When I looked at my first baby, now a one year old, I couldn’t believe I was creating another one like her inside me now, when you are pregnant with your first, I don’t feel you quite grasp the incredible miracle that is truly taking place. Yet with the second, it was very much in the fore front of my mind.
They say you aren’t suppose to have another baby until you have the first one out of diapers…well I threw that one out the window! We planned on getting pregnant with our second baby just over a year after having the first. That put the first two kids about two year apart. It was planned and perfect!
What’s worse than a heartache…seeing your child suffer a heartache. If I could take the pain away I would take it tenfold.
My first born was a handful, not because she was my first born but because she was “spirited”. Although life as you know it changes when motherhood begins, my first born was a spunky little thing. Luckily, since she was my first child, I had no idea that other babies weren’t this difficult. I thought it simply was the first time mom woes of motherhood…until I had my second. With my first, I read a book called, “how to raise the spirited child”. It was as if this book was written about my daughter. To wrap it up in a nutshell, she was the epitome of taking the good with the bad. She became ultimately my hardest but best child.
So my journey as a mother began! Having a little girl was wonderful, challenging, beautiful and life changing! As many first time mothers realize quickly, the world you knew before was gone. Going to the bathroom alone will soon be something of a forgotten pleasure. But nonetheless, it’s amazing and goes by way too fast. Cherish it, every little possible stressful moment…cherish it all.