After having two little girls only one and three years old at the time, my husband and I tried for a boy…and after only a short time, got pregnant with a boy. Our lives were busy, full, crazy, and on track. He was my high school sweet heart, my heart, my love. After a weekend away for his birthday, and two days before my girls birthdays while I was just six weeks pregnant…he tell me he wants a separation. Never had I felt a heart ache like this, never had I felt a physical pain in my chest where my heart was…never had I anticipated this coming. My third child was planned and now he wanted a separation. Devastation is too light of a word to even use to describe my emotions.
My oldest was so dynamic…so animated…so opinionated…would my second little girl get lost in her shadows? My oldest was a force to be reckon with…a child who demanded attention at every turn. But my second child was laid back…easy going…quiet…and entertained herself…would she get lost in the shuffle? I use to worry when my first born would run the show and set the mood for the entire family for each day. If she was happy, the family was happy, if she was having an off day…so did we. Was this fair to my second born? Would this be the family dynamics forever? How could I make sure that my second child would get a chance to shine too?
My first born was just that…my first born. Something that will always be a place in your heart as such a significant role for the rest of your life. My second born was my first born into motherhood! For me, it was so amazing to already be a mom and be so comfortable in that role and to parent from a place of familiarity. Being the first born child into my role of motherhood was a special place for my second born. My third born was my first son! Oh so exciting to be a mother of a son. So many different emotions and roles of being the mom of a boy. And my fourth born was my baby, my youngest, my last (lol or so I thought for awhile) child that I would savior every moment since it was the last one. Each child from my marriage had a special place in their birth order. Each so different and each so cherished.
You hear about the middle child syndrome and I believe birth order personalities are very true and usually spot on…my second born was my easy breezy going little one that wasn’t much of a problem. Besides the solid whining for the first three years of her life, she was that laid back, easy child I had been hoping for as a second born. My first was a handful but maybe I had “paid my dues” and gotten my hard child out of the way with the first one. Of course, like I said, it was the epitome of taking the good with the bad with her. But my second born added such a calming easy flow to the day, that it almost settled my first born to a degree. They were night and day…in every way! From the moment she was born, the first thing I thought was that she looked nothing like her sister. Then it took only about a few weeks to learn that neither was anything about her personality similar to her sister either. One was dark hair brown eyes, olive skin…the other blond hair blue eyes and fair skin. When one was hot the other was cold, when one slept wide open on top of the covers, the other slept curled up under the sheets. Their energy was completely different. My first born was like the energizer bunny while my second was my one to want to go take a nap…so much fun to have such extremes…my Gemini twins!